All You Got Is Your Best

Finish of the Cross Country Sprint Classic FIS | ActionPress | Diego Barbieri

First up was the Cross Country Sprint. This was an interesting race for me. It would end up as my worst result of the Games, but it might have been the day that left the venue the most satisfied. That was one of the best Sprint days that I’ve put together. The management of time, effort, energy, and fueling all came together on this day. A year ago, at the test event, I watched others compete, and I figured it would be extremely hard to beat any athlete with a lower-limb impairment who uses two poles. The course simply suited them, with very limited opportunity for an athlete like me, whether using a single pole or no poles to gain an advantage. That is part of the sport. We each have different strengths and weaknesses. The best skiers can limit those disadvantages and capitalize on advantages. It was strange, in a way, to go into a race knowing that, without some crazy conditions, I would not have a chance to podium. Or it would need to be a better-than-perfect day. And that had me questioning whether it was worth starting the day, but my goal was to see how close I could get. Put myself into contention, it is sprinting after all, and no one knows what could happen.

My qualifier was okay. Though I had been told and knew that the more skied-in tracks, or those on the left side going up Zorzi, were where I wanted to go. In the heat of racing, I followed the skier who had started ahead of me up the right-most track. Thinking what is more skied-in than a track that was only skied-in seconds earlier. That was not the smart move. So, I struggled up the hill, wasting time. I skied the rest of the course very well and would end up qualifying in seventh place. It wasn’t pretty, but job one was complete, onto the heats. Now the real work was starting. I was in the second semi-final. I had a great performance in the semi. I learned from my mistakes in the qualifier and skied a much better semi. I was following another athlete up the climb. About two-thirds of the way up, I was inching closer with each stride and had just made the decision I needed to move over to get by and position myself better for the descent. When he stumbled and fell, I was just able to swing my ski away from underneath him by the smallest of margins, saving myself from getting caught up. That afforded me the opportunity, once I got the finishing stretch, to ease up slightly near the finish, knowing I had made it through to the Final. Standing on the start line of the Sprint Final at the Paralympics felt like a great accomplishment already; some great skiers had been eliminated earlier, but I was still in contention. I was curious to see how I might fare in the Final. I would put the name 'classic biathlete' to the test to see if I could still use it. I surprisingly was the most impaired in the Final, meaning I would get a head start by a few seconds. I can already tell you that wasn’t enough. Two skiers caught me astonishingly quickly, but the big challenge would be the Zorzi. That’s where, if I had any chance, I needed to be at my best. On the climb, it was a fantastic battle. By far my best effort of the day, I skied very well in that Final. However, the others simply had an advantage I could not overcome. I remember coming over the final bump into the stadium and the finish, still fighting. I could see that I was in sixth place. I came into that finish ready to fight, but that wasn’t going to help today. I eased up a little to ski the remaining few meters. I’m very proud of my performance that day. And now that I had pushed the body to the max, I thought I could not have asked for a better prep for the next day’s race.

Day five was the Cross Country 10km classic race. I would say the venue crew had done a great job up to then in providing us with the best possible conditions despite warm weather and nights that weren’t freezing. For whatever reason, there had been a miscommunication about how to set up the course for the 10km, so it was never ‘salted’ – a term used to reference the use of fertilizer, ammonium nitrate or sodium chloride, to harden the snow in warm, wet conditions. So, the conditions were tough, deep, slushy snow. Perfect. In freestyle or skate, I prefer hard, firmer tracks, but in classic, those are nice, but I also ski very well in miserable, wet, sloppy conditions. The Sprint the day before helped prime my body for the fast snap I needed to excel in the 10km. Two leaders jumped to an early lead, while right from the start, a German skier and I fought over the third position. Depending on the section of the course, he had the edge, or I would. This continued for the first three of four laps. In that third lap, I started pushing the pace and held the advantage throughout, while the second-place skier began to fade and drift back towards me. I fought in the fourth and final lap, gaining distance over fourth, securing third and seeing if I could get any closer to second. I did, but not enough to overtake him. I would earn my 14^th Paralympic medal, a bronze. Like the Sprint course, the distance course favours those who can use two poles, but thanks to the soft conditions, I was able to fight my way to a podium finish. I manipulated the terrain effectively through my race plan, pushing in areas of weakness and excelling in areas of strength, to perform and achieve podium success. That is what I want to be capable of. That is what performance is to me.

That bronze made me a multi-medalist in the last four out of the five Games that I’ve competed in. I spoke of consistency earlier; well, each of those Games started with a silver medal followed by a bronze medal. With Milano Cortina just over halfway done, I still had two more opportunities to add to that total and see what other consistencies I could manage. Day six of the Games was the final day off from competition. The last chance to recover before the final push of races and wrapping up these Paralympic Winter Games.

                The final event in Biathlon was the Sprint Pursuit. I did a lot of things right that day, but there were still a few small mistakes, two misses, that would in the end keep me off the podium once again. My strength for so long has been my consistency, and that’s what I did again throughout the Sprint Pursuit day. But there were others willing and capable of surpassing the standard of my consistency. My shooting accuracy for the Games was over 92%, but I missed a shot in every race I did. And that’s on me. Where each of those misses impacted my ability to medal or which step of the podium. In the morning’s qualification race, I missed in my first bout (once again), but the result was fifth place, and one of my better qualifications this season. I would start the Final a little way back, but I could make that up. To my standard, I didn’t start all that well in the Final, adding yet another miss in the first bout. It turned out, though, that most of the field missed a shot or more in that first bout, and I had made up some time and places. A strong second lap, as I tried to put myself into a position where I could challenge for the podium. I did what I needed to in the second bout. I settled in, was deliberate and hit all five of my targets. But ensuring those hits cost me precious seconds – the trade-off of Biathlon. I left the range and headed up Zorzi one last time to the finish. I left in fourth, but third place was within reach; he was right there. With all the effort I had left, I tried but was unsuccessful in closing the gap or challenging for the bronze medal. And so, I skied across the line to fourth. It was my final individual competition of these Games. As most have seen, there was a lot of emotion afterwards. I’ll speak more on that in my next update. Let me recap the final race first.

                It is always a special opportunity to put aside personal ambitions and come together as a team to perform for your Nation. In Para Cross Country, there are very few opportunities to do so; usually, Relays are held only at the World Championships or the Paralympic Winter Games. I believe the Relay is one of the sport’s best showcases of the Paralympic spirit and what we do. The Relay consists of four legs; the first two for these Games were in the classic style and on the Sit ski course. The latter two legs were freestyle on the Standing course. A team can consist of two, three or four different athletes. A team can use any combination of athletes they choose, as long as the total factoring of all legs is under 335% for the Mixed Relay and 375% for the Open Relay. That means teams could have both genders, and athletes from Sitting, Standing, and Visually Impaired. I was fortunate enough to be selected to the Mixed team, and I was to ski the fourth leg in freestyle. An all-out effort for just over four minutes. I put in a great final leg. I overtook teams but was also chased down and caught by another team. I ended up with great splits and the third-fastest leg time, while limiting my losses to the two faster Visually Impaired skiers. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to get onto the podium, but it was a fantastic way to wrap up the Games, battling it out with teammates.

Team Canada's Mixed Relay PC: CPC | Michael P. Hall

                The final day of the Games was the Cross Country 20km free technique. It had always been my intention not to race that 20km, focusing on the earlier six races. Now, there were times when I figured that if I was healthy enough for it, there could have been a ‘why not’ moment, and I would have jumped in. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out, as after Relay, I started to feel sorer than I expected. And soon after, some symptoms of illness began to appear. The highest level of performance weakens the immune system, and I appeared to have pushed too far. Not how I would have liked to end the Games, but those things are not always in your control.

                There was a lot to reflect on after I wrapped up these Games. Another experience that words barely scratch the surface of describing. All the more special to go through it with my brother at my back, as my shooting coach. Another unique experience very few athletes ever get to have, going to the Games with a sibling. It has been a privilege to share this Quad with him.

The next update shares the emotional reflections of these Games…